“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” – William James
There are times that we may feel that we are victims of our circumstances. In some ways, that is true. In some ways, it is not. We must admit that there are negative factors in our lives that we brought upon ourselves. I know it is hard to admit especially if you feel like blaming someone. I have been there too but I realize that I can make myself a victim of myself. Sometimes we just have to save us from ourselves. Our previous decisions, our habits, and our perspective all contributed to who we are now. However, life is not hopeless. We can help change our circumstance. But that change must begin within.
The first thing that we must adjust is our perspective. Perspective is the lens in which we see the world. If our lens is blue, it is a blue world. If it is red, then it is a red world. If it is black, it is a black world. Our perspective/s form our interpretation of events, people, and circumstances. Somebody wearing the lens of paranoia interprets the things around him as threats. Somebody wearing the lens of self-pity will always feel sorry for himself. Somebody wearing the lens of blame is always looking to blame somebody. On the other hand, somebody wearing the lens of opportunity sees the good opportunities even in the worst situations. Somebody wearing the lens of good will see the good in everyone. Somebody wearing the lens of confidence will always see how he can express himself.
Our perspective will affect how we treat others, our situation and ourselves. By choosing to have a broader and more positive perspective, we are led to think better and feel better about everything.
The second thing we must adjust is our thinking process. How we process information plays an important role on how we decide. It is necessary that we come up with an information processing system that works for us. When we receive feedback from the work we have done, how do we process it? If it is positive, we must strengthen the WHY it was positive and keep doing what we did right. If it is negative, we must also strengthen the WHY then make adjustments. Reacting defensively in a rash manner will always lead us to say and do the wrong thing. Regret is always at the end.
When we need to make a decision, we must evaluate the pros and cons properly. I usually ask myself two things: (1) What is the worst thing that can happen and (2) what is the best thing that can happen. I think through it carefully, and then I see what I can do to soften the worst thing. I have no problem being inspired with the best thing that can happen. Of course I go for it if the worst thing is bearable.
The third thing we need to adjust is our feelings. Our feelings form part of who we are and they affect our environment whether in the office or at home. If we project positive emotions of hope, love, faith, happiness; we help strengthen our inner selves and help create a positive atmosphere.
If we usually emit negative emotions like depression, self-pity, obsession, hate, anger, impatience, and the like; we weaken our emotions and create a negative atmosphere around us. Negative emotions usually come from bad or discouraging news. What we must learn to do is to first detach ourselves from what we feel. Learn to put it aside for a while, learn not to panic, learn to contain anger, think through it, say the right thing and do the right thing.
We can release some negative emotions like sorrow in the right time with the right people. We can express our frustrations when we are alone. Try to make fun of it so you can lighten it up. Sometimes, for fun, I make a howling sound in my bedroom where no one can hear – except my wife who allows me to go nuts sometimes 
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By improving our perspective, by having a thinking process and by expressing our feelings in the proper way, we can begin to affect our environment in a positive way. We will make better decisions and be more happy; thereby, we will bring ourselves to better circumstances.
Do you begin change within?
Ed Pilapil Jr. ©
